How do you know you are in the tourist zone of any European city? Pickpockets and tricksters abound. Well, I guess there are enough of them to compel someone to post this outside one of the major churches in the city.

You also know by the number of horse-drawn carriages (or in Venice, gondolas) ferrying tourists around the congested inner city.

We spent a lovely afternoon walking around the inner city, strolling up and down back alleys named for the businesses that used to operate there in earlier times. Streets with names like “Greengrocer alley,” “Butcher market,” “Coal market,” and “Goldsmith alley” radiate from the city center in a series of jumbled, narrow lanes. Of course, these days most of those businesses are long gone and Max Mara and Michael Kors have taken over those spaces. Still it was fun to walk around and imagine life in the mid-1600s.

Our Uber driver dropped us off near the back entrance to the Hofburg Palace, and we wandered down Kohlmarket past traditional Austrian retailers with very traditional storefronts into the Graben.

These are two of the three key pedestrian shopping areas in the city and the vibe here is energetic, but not crazy stressful as you would see in many cities. Tourists and locals alike enjoyed the 68 degree day, indulging in a glass of wine, cup of espresso or a gelato in the afternoon sun of the main plaza.

In addition to very upscale stores and lots of cafes in the Graben, one of the other highlights of this street is the late 17th Century Plague monument. Apparently there was a huge outbreak of the bubonic plague in 1690 something, and more than 1/4 of the population of Vienna was wiped out.

This monument was erected by the Emperor Leopold I in 1700 as a thank-you to God for answering the Emperor’s prayers to heal his people. Leopold also built nearby St. Peter’s Church in 1702 in memory of the suffering of the city’s population.

From the outside, the church looks rather restrained, especially in contrast to the excess of the late 19th Century buildings on each side of the “plaza.” But a step inside reveals its true Baroque exuberance, with carved marble and wood, gold leaf, frescoes and a soaring rotunda above the center of the sanctuary.

Kind of overwhelming, really. Mom is not a fan of this era of design but I was impressed, especially by the lack of dust and cobwebs that I have seen in many historic Catholic churches. You’d think with all the money the Catholic Church rakes in each year they could afford a cleaning service — instead of staging protests against women’s reproductive health, for example.

Mom and I stuck around for the church’s free 3 p.m. organ recital. Man, there is NOTHING like a Bach fugue played on an 18th century organ. It was fabulous. I did manage to record two of the selections on my phone, but WordPress won’t let me upload a sound file, so you’ll just have to trust me on that one.

We wandered around the city center a bit more, but mom was getting tired (she’s been fighting off allergies since we arrived), so we caught an Uber back to our hotel to take a rest before dinner.

We had discussed going back to the city center to check out one of the restaurant recommendations I received from a friend and former client who visited Vienna a few months ago, but mom suggested that we find a local restaurant instead. So after consulting our trusty Google, we settled on Gasthaus Engelhart, a family-owned neighborhood restaurant with excellent reviews.

It turned out to be an excellent decision.

One thing you have to know about the Rink gals: We can find entertainment WHEREVER we go. And this dinner was no exception.

It started with yet another quirky warning sign posted in the restaurant’s outdoor seating area:

A question for my dog owner friends: Do you REALLY need to be told not to let your dog pee on a restaurant’s patio seating area?

Thankfully, none of the well-behaved dogs we’ve spotted in restaurants have peed against the tables inside.

The restaurant was small and smokey, but fortunately there was a “non-smoking” area in the back. Area, not room. And technically, it  was a “not so smokey” area, since every time someone moved from the front room to the back, they brought a wave of cigarette smoke with them through the open door. But it was marginally better than sitting in the smoke chamber or running the risk of being peed on by a dachshund on his/her evening stroll.

We were greeted and seated by the owner/waiter, a 60-something ball of energy who mom rightly remarked looked a lot like the late British actor Robert Hoskins (of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” fame). I tell you, this guy was ALL OVER the place, handling about 40 tables at a time and keeping everyone supplied with beverages. He even managed to wait on a table of 18 without neglecting any of the other tables or losing his smile.

After a brief back in forth — him speaking rapid-fire Austrian German and me speaking “Germ-lish” — I managed to get mom a beer. And as you can see, she quite enjoyed it!

A man seated at the table next to us overheard us debating our menu choices and strongly recommended the Weiner Schnitzel. But I had eaten that the night before in the hotel restaurant and really had my taste buds set for traditional goulash. So mom decided to give the schnitzel it try. Everything was fabulous!

While we were waiting for our entrees to arrive, things really got interesting. A group of seven locals were seated two tables away from us and we spent the remainder of our meal being entertained by the (we assume) family dynamics at the table.

First to arrive was an older couple, probably early 70s. She looked like she had suffered a bit in life (I think I spotted a wig) and he looked like a retired lower-level bureaucrat, think Department of Motor Vehicles. At first, it looked like he was going to be the host of the group.

The next arrivals were a woman about 25, and another in her early 50s, then a couple in their late 50s. And then, “Mr. Wonderful” made his appearance. Late 20s, maybe early 30s, a bit tipsy, loud and very argumentative. Mom thinks he was married to the young lady since he greeted her with a kiss. I know for a fact he was the son of the woman he argued with all evening, loudly and about any subject you could imagine: politics, wine selections, social media, gay rights, you name it.

The older couple added little, if anything, to the conversation, as did the young woman. They seemed more interested in eating and getting out fast than in participating in any of the discussions/arguments.

Mom and I had a great time speculating about the relationships of the various people at that table and even gave each other a few chuckles making up our own dialogue to match the body language. Seriously, it was like watching a play with a bunch of New Yorkers at Sunday dinner.

But based on what little I could understand from their conversation (again, in the Austrian dialect), the two young people were engaged and the dinner was to discuss plans for their upcoming wedding.

I give that marriage 8 months.

As the group got up to leave, Mr. Wonderful’s mother actually stopped by our table to apologize for the commotion. Honestly, we would have paid for that level of entertainment!

We topped off our delicious (and entertaining) meal with some house-made apple strudel. Yum!

Not sure what we’ll do tomorrow. It’s supposed to be another gorgeous, warm one. But we did plan ahead enough to make dinner reservations at the beer cellar/restaurant a couple of blocks from our hotel. Why did we choose this specific restaurant? Well, 13 years ago, during mom’s first visit to Vienna, we stopped had a very memorable evening there with a couple we’d become friendly with on our river cruise. So of course we need to go back!

In the meantime, it’s off to bed, with dreams of pastries, schnitzel and goulash to rock us to sleep.